- Call 911 and get
to a safe place, if possible.
- Or call The Domestic
Abuse Shelter hotline at (305) 743-4440. We are available 24
hours a day, seven days a week. We have a variety of services
that can help you stay safe and break free from emotional,
physical, sexual and other kinds of abuse.
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Sometimes
it is difficult to measure the amount of danger you are in. It
may seem like your partner wouldn’t hurt you, and yet s/he
has. It is important for you to remember that it is not your fault,
however, there are some things that you can do to get clearer on
the situation.
Unless
it is publicly displayed, you may not have all the information
you need on your partner. While you may think you know what to
expect and when to expect a violent outburst, the extent to which
you are in danger may not be apparent.
A lethality
assessment is a tool designed to help you get a better understanding
of the level of danger you may be experiencing. It doesn’t
give you a blueprint to map out the behavior of the person who
is hurting you, but it can help you understand what you are up
against.
When
you are in a safe place, and not in any immediate danger, complete
the following assessment (preferably together with a DAS advocate).
After it is complete, use the lethality assessment to help you
create a safety plan to ensure that you are in the least amount
of danger possible.
Does your partner:
- Objectify you? (Call
you names, body parts, animals, etc)
- Blame you for perceived
injuries to him/herself?
- Seem unwilling to
give you space? (hold you hostage or trap you?)
- Get jealous of you
easily?
- Have a history of
violence?
- Have a history of
suicide attempts?
- Have an obsession
with you?
- Get hostile or angry
with you easily?
- Ever threaten to
hurt your pets?
- Threaten you?
- Abuse alcohol and/or
drugs?
- Have access to guns/weapons?
Answering “yes” to
any of these questions is a red flag that you may be in danger.
Typically, violence, whether verbal or physical, does not end on
its own. Often it escalates, and becomes increasingly dangerous.
If you have not already spoken to a DAS advocate, you may want
to call the hotline at (305) 743-4440 to find out more about how
we can help.
If you choose not to
call, it is important to ensure first and foremost that you are
safe. You may want to use our safety plan model to create a plan
for yourself that will help minimize the danger and reduce your
risk of injury.
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What
is a safety plan?
There
is no single generic safety plan that can help minimize the danger
you may be experiencing. Safety plans help lessen risk and can
assist you in getting to a safe place if need be. They by no means
ensure that you will be safe in a violent situation, but they can
assist in the event of an emergency. While it may seem time consuming
and tedious to prepare, a solid safety plan could save your life.
There
are many different types of plans depending on your situation.
Only you know what is best for you, so you can choose a type of
plan that best suits your current needs. If you are not sure which
kind is most suitable, you can prepare several and use them as
necessary. Examples of safety plans include:
-
A
safety plan while in the home
-
A
safety plan with an Injunction for Protection
-
A
safety plan in the Shelter
-
A
safety plan for returning home
-
A
safety plan for preparing to leave
-
A
safety plan for work
-
A
safety plan for staying with family or friends
-
A
safety plan with children
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DAS
advocates are trained professionals, who can help you develop a
safety plan. You can get in contact with an advocate by calling
(305) 743-4440 any time of day, 7 days a week. If, however, you
would prefer to create a safety plan on your own, remember that
it doesn’t have to be very long or complicated. The plan
is strictly for you, so don’t worry about grammar, penmanship
or spelling. It’s a good idea to write it down, but it is
crucial to keep it in a place where the person abusing you cannot
access it. Here’s some questions and suggestions to think
about:
-
Have
an emergency bag filled with a change of clothes, basic toiletries
and copies of any relevant documents (driver’s license,
check book, credit cards, etc.), and store it in a place that
your partner cannot find it
-
Identify
and practice escape routes
-
Know
of places to go for a night, weekend or incase of a emergency
-
Establish
alternate routes to work, school etc.
-
Get
a cell phone
-
Have
emergency telephone numbers with you
-
Get
caller ID
-
Have
an alert system with neighbors and co-workers in case of an
emergency
-
If
you have children, have a plan with the school or day care,
and teach them how to call 911
-
If
you are in the house, know which rooms are safe to stand in
with the abuser. (If possible, stand near a door when the abuser
becomes angry; and avoid the kitchen, where knives and other
sharp tools are easily accessible.)
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